There is no such thing as a “little white lie”

A lie is a lie is a lie.  Calling it a “little white lie” just makes it sound cute and innocent.  That does not change the fact that it is a lie.  Calling it a “little white lie” does not make it any less a lie than any other lie.  Scripture does not define lies by severity.  It does not call some lies acceptable or “little white” or any other term.  A lie is a lie is a lie.

I was trapped in the stronghold of lying but, by the grace and mercy of God, I have broken free.  My lying originated as survival.  I am not saying that excuses it, I am just explaining the origins and what God taught me.  As a child, lying kept me from getting hit.  My mind was constantly weighing things, deciding what would make Dad angry and what would not.

Once that habit had been formed, at a very young age, I was trapped in the stronghold of habitual lies.  Once the habit is formed, it is difficult to break.  As a young adult, I frequently “colored” things to keep from looking foolish.  Played hooky from work, and made up symptoms, or used some nonspecific lie “not feeling well” which was not true.

There was a time when, If a friend asked me if I want to go to dinner, or a movie, or whatever, and I was broke, I would make up a story.  I couldn’t tell someone that I made a mistake in my checking account or that I made a foolish, impulsive purchase.  In the past, I would have made up something else I had to do.  Suppose I told them I had to go see someone who was sick.  Then, they run into that friend and ask if they are feeling better.  It’s exhausting thinking up lies that won’t get me caught, and trying to remember all of the “cover stories” so I don’t get tripped up when I see that person again.

It’s so FREEING and so much simpler to just tell the truth.  “I’m broke till payday”.  It doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it would to admit my failings and weaknesses.  Transparency is GOOD for relationships.  I’m not saying that we need to tell everyone everything about us. “I’m broke until payday” is honest without revealing what is none of the other person’s business.  Just because someone is nosy and prying and asks for details, doesn’t mean they need to know.  Learning to say, “I don’t want to go into details” or “that’s private” or “that’s really none of you business” has helped me a great deal.

Once the Lord showed me that lying displeases Him, I spent time in prayer and he showed me where my lying originated and helped me break free from that stronghold.

Proverbs 6:16-19
“There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil,  a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.”

God HATES a lying tongue.  Notice that it does not say “a lying tongue (LITTLE WHITE LIES EXCEPTED).”  Any lie displeases the Lord.

Lies create damage in many other ways.  Have you ever caught someone else lying?  It becomes impossible to believe anything they say.  When it is someone close to you, it hurts.  It is a betrayal of trust.  They don’t trust you with the truth.  You can’t trust them to tell the truth.  Trust is broken.  That is so very damaging to any relationship, be it spouses, siblings, friends, parent/child, etc.

Let’s stop being cutesy and calling them “little white lies”.  Let’s call them what they are.  LIES.  Admitting the problem is the first step to getting freed from the stronghold of habitual lying.  Break free and live in truth!

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